Every creature, every tree, every being willing to lend an eye and a few simple thoughts:
This is what I have to say!
...
A bit anti-climatic, no? Well, this blog in itself is a collection of ideas of mine that were left unspoken, letters I never sealed, and a place where even the littlest nooks of my brain can feel welcome. I may never have any recipes or ailments to share, or something any willing person would listen to, but that is the beauty of a blog. No one is here because they have to be and I'm here for no other reason than to express myself. I hope this avenue can help me become a better person and grow into myself while having first-person documentation of what my life was like.
So, to Willow in the future:
Hi there :)
I'm sure reading these will be full of cliches and cringey old memories, but what is life but constant growth? I have spent eighteen years on this earth and, all I can say is, I doubt I will ever reach a point of stagnation in learning how to become myself. It seems that every day a new door opens with the opportunity to make progress or a mistake, yet the differences can seem slim and unnoticeable. The choices I make will further fill my life with love. I have the strength and determination to accomplish my goals while spreading positivity to others. I deserve a good life and so it will be. These are my hopes.
For a bit of background on how I stumbled onto this site and my decision to start writing; I have been lacking the space, and frankly the energy, to share my inner world with others in my life. If I have this constant speaking in my mind, I may as well type it out to look back upon and learn from. It would be nice to have an outlet to express myself without the pressure to be perfect and impress others. I am not particularly checking my grammar or using a writing assistant because I will get better with time. If the purpose of this is to grow into myself, then what precedent would that set for my learning goals? Additionally, I will not force myself to write on a schedule or after certain events. I want to write because I feel compelled to.
These days I have been enjoying my summer break after completing my first year of college! Being home has been refreshing and a slice of much-needed serenity from those uncertain times. The year was immensely fulfilling but also chaotic. I made many friends and lost some, and found passions in new places but former ones disappeared. Some days it felt as if I was searching for shapes in clouds of smoke. I was surrounded by cruelty when I had not known better, but shown such devoted kindness when I came up for air. Life really has a funny way of putting things back into place. Many worries about it all unraveling for it to simply work out in the end. Possibly a lesson I will need to come to terms with in the future- times will be tough and you may be anxious, but it shall pass.
I have about three weeks until I move into my first apartment with the girls and start year two of college. Time flies so quickly. I found this old note I had written after my junior year of high school asking about which college I had decided to attend or if I would be moving far from home. I wanted to know if I was able to make it to prom or have all those so desired firsts. I had written it as a sixteen-year-old to my seventeen-year-old self. It was odd reading it back, reminiscing on my old priorities, and being past the age that achieved them. It has been two years since that note and it is such a shock how much has changed. I am eager for the new lessons I will encounter, but it can feel difficult to live in the moment. These are the days I was desperately looking forward to. I hope I can try to bask in the sunlight a little longer and with purpose.
This may be it for my first letter, I suppose it is more of a post than a letter but I digress. There is much I did not touch upon, but I fear if I continue writing this then I will never upload it. It would be cute to have a signature send-off, but one has yet to come to me. It will come with time.
That being said, a song that I enjoy shall do.
This song reminds me of the days when I first moved away from home. I used it in the background of a picture from my second day of classes. The last line is "We've got some growing left to do" and that is truly the purpose of this blog. I got this.
Yours,
Willow
